mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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