I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
