I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
