At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
