brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sponge bath it is.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
