Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
