Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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