Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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