my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
