Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
