I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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