I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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