Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
