This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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