his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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