Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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