by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
