I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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