hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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