what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize