ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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