I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
