I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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