I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
