you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize