hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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