just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
