it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
