At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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