let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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