Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize