I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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