i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we're so committed to being not committed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
