im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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