He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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