living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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