so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
