don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
