You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize