I just saw a hot homeless man
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
