Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
