you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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