so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
