so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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