never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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