she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
