Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize