She is in my trunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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