Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
