Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
