This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize