I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
