I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize