You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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