No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
