Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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