the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
