all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
