thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it glows. i had to have it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
