the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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