Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
